"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept!" Matthew 5:14-16 The Message

It has almost been two months that we have been here and our team has seen its share of trials and tests in Swaziland. The students I work with are mostly orphaned with no hope and no future.  They have no one to believe in them. There are situations at home in America that I have been praying for and I need to see God move through restoration and healing.

We have had three car wrecks in a month and a half, we have seen two children die after we have spent time praying for them, and this past weekend we were robbed.  Many of us have felt desperation in that we don't know what difference we are making. It has been emotionally draining, spiritually draining, and it's sometimes in situations like these that I think, "God where are You? What are You doing?  God I don't understand…"

Praise God that I don't understand.  Praise God that we are going through trials that are testing our faith and putting it through fire so that we are being made pure for His sake.  Praise God that He is in control and that He allows me to be a part of His story.  It is only when I am on my knees that I become strong again.  Sometimes it takes being knocked off of your feet to show me how desperately I need God.  

"Apart from me you can do NOTHING." John 15: 5b (emphasis mine)

I think many times I forget this until it comes to a moment of despair and I know there is nowhere else to turn.  God is pruning my heart and spirit to realize that nothing I attempt can be done without Him.  I cannot save these children in Swaziland, I cannot heal hearts, minds, spirits, I cannot even hold a candle to what God is able to do.   

God is the Healer, Comforter, Redeemer, Lamb, Lion, Counselor. He is Faithful, Just, Loving, Compassionate, Jealous, Worthy, Unfailing, Merciful, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, All-Powerful, Amazing. He is the lover of my soul, He pursues me, He first loved me.

In the midst of all of the things that sometimes take my attention away from Him, the situations that I know I can't solve and that seem hopeless, the things I don't understand, God is God.  Praise God that He is doing a mighty work in me and in Swaziland, though I may not see or understand now.  

I want to ask you to pray because I know that these attacks might get worse before they get better. Pray for our team that we continually seek God's face and His strength as we face seemingly hopeless situations.  Pray for these last two months that we are here, that we will spend each moment being a light to Swaziland and that our lives will bring God ultimate glory. Pray that we will continually be brought to our knees with desperation for God and His touch.